I admitted it to myself when I was, I think, about sixteen. I was losing the...– Tommy Kirk, Disney actor in Old Yeller and Swiss Family Robinson, on coming out.
Possums - you see that and think ‘HOLY SHIT that thing is ugly.’– My geology professor
Smoked oysters - I get a tin of that shit, eat the whole damn thing.– My Geology professor
Who the hell is interrupting my kung fu?– Sartre
Rock me mama like the wind and the rain.– Immanuel Kant
My dick rumble in the jungle; yo’ dick got touched by yo’ uncle.– John Calvin
Your Dick: :~ My Dick: 8=====D
I’m from the future and I’m here to party.– Friedrich Nietzsche
That’s some cool shit; dinosaurs, man.– My Geology professor.
Today I start taking Rocks for Jocks Part II! Yay summer school!
Nirvana is so raw, you’ll chafe.– Simone de Beauvoir
I was standing outside a restaurant waiting for my accomplice, when a crazy bug-eyed mouth-breathing lady sat down in the window inset and asked me if I had any weed. I responded, saying “No, I do not have any weed.” She stared at me as her eyes bugged a little more. She exhaled, exacerbated by her need of marijuana right this instant. She did not comprehend my answer....
Dialogue on Sixth Street, midnight
Crazy Lady (to a man who was, inexplicably, carrying a spoon): Do you have any weed?
Spoon Man: No ... but I have this spoon!
Crazy Lady (incredulous, with gravity): I'm being _serious_.
Spoon Man: I'm being serious, too. [Holds up soon]. I have the spoon.
Crazy Lady: [glares unamused]
You’re like a little tree frog.– Thomas Aquinas
Girls just want to have fun.– Soren Kierkegaard
Anonymous asked: So, what exactly is your definition of friendship?
The wild dogs cry out in the night As they grow restless longing for some...– James Joyce
Don’t be a CANTaloupe; be a CANaloupe!
A gentleman riding a comically small bicycle in and out of traffic on the left side of the road came to an intersection (again, on the wrong side of the road) and shouted loudly at a stopped car to “get [her] ass off the cell phone!!!!11!1!!” He then clarified in rude language that this was dangerous before riding onto a sidewalk and swerving to miss a small woman.
Simpsons’ song “See My Vest” is stuck in my head. Blergh.
Kurt Russell.– Walt Disney
When I was young [and worked here], I would jump over the counter. Now …...– The guy who works at the pizza place in the Dobie on the perils of time.
Just kidding - Trump is racist →
Good one, Donald!
I love the smell of Burger Tex in the morning. If only there was a shuttle to take me home. food coma
I'm good at language.
(10:27:49 AM) Tron: er, he would be, if he was
The fact that you have a big beard is going to be central to how students think...– From the review of my lesson today.
He was not fast. Speed means nothing. Math doesn’t depend on speed. It is about...– Mathematician Yuri Burago, on Grigory Perelman who solved one of the hardest math problems ever posed.
In actuality, nothing could be further from the truth and there is nobody who is...– Donald Trump
I want to drive through a McDonald’s and order a super sized Big Mac for America. With extra Freedom Fries.
Pulling out is un-American– Oda a la Lengua, on Obama’s firm stance to continue the war on terror.
My Facebook comments on Osama's death
I really hope Obama just pulls bin Laden’s head out from behind the podium and cackles. IT’S A PARTY IN THE USA, TERRORISTS Oh man Obama’s getting laid tonight Dude the best part of Obama’s speech was when he flew in on that jetpack. ”I authorized this operation” = “I shot him dead while riding a bear.” We all know what you meant....
Oh man Obama’s getting laid tonight.